Boy Mom

They didn’t have to tell me you were a boy. I knew. I mean, I could see. Right there on the ultrasound screen, before the tech could get the words out of her mouth, I exclaimed,

“It’s a boy!”

Perhaps even before seeing I already knew. A boy. It felt both unfamiliar and completely right all at the same time.

You are the adventure I never knew I needed. Even before that “it’s a boy” moment, I felt God prompting me, preparing me, telling me that YOU were exactly what I needed.

All I felt like I knew were girls. I am one for starters. My only sibling is a girl, and I’ve always had a majority of girl friends. Girl seemed familiar. Girl seemed known.

There would come a time that the familiarity of a girl would be right. But right then, it was only you, my boy.

I felt a tug—a silent voice whispering that the unknown was best. That the adventure you’d bring was just right for me. For us. You, Daddy, and me.

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And, boy oh boy, did I need you. Even from the time my body was your only home, I felt it—new things starting to sprout. As I was preparing to give birth to you, you were birthing something in me. It’s hard to exactly pinpoint what it was, but I felt it—new parts of my heart opening up, new curiosities surfacing, and a new kind of love starting to form. A love for a baby, yes, but even more than that, a love for you, my son.

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Now you’re here, and oh the sense of wonder you bring. Your boyish grunts and heavy-as-lead footsteps. Your love for balls and outside. Your sweaty head and ruddy cheeks. There are so many classic boy things about you. These things feel both new and oh-so-precious to me.

And beyond the things that make you a boy, there is the intricate design, the intentional weaving together of the things that make you you. These are the things that are becoming “classic Fox.” Your sensitivity, your kindness, your desire to be with us. Your curiosity and hunger to learn. Your love for books. Your focus on people. Your memory! Your sensitive heart and spirit.

I’m so glad you were chosen for me and I was chosen for you, and that being a boy mom is part of my story in spite of how unfamiliar it seemed or all the experience I felt I was lacking.

So here we are beyond reason and planning, a perfectly suited pair handpicked for each other, and it’s crystal clear that we were meant to be, my boy, you and me.

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Photos by Rachel Coffey Photography | Fox at 2 years old

Motherhood 001

The first time I saw you after your sister was born there was a moment I didn’t expect. I wish someone had warned me, but they didn’t. It’s always easy to look back and wish for a warning; one that I probably wouldn’t have understood or heeded until I experienced it myself.

I wish someone had told me that once your sister arrived I wouldn’t see you as my baby anymore. I mean yes, in my heart, you will always be my baby. But there you were, all just-shy-a-day-of-21-months-old and your big head and heavy toddler steps were all big boy compared to the squishy little newborn I’d just met.

I just wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t prepared to tell my baby goodbye yet. As I sit here with my eyes and nose tingling the way they do as tears start to form, I realize how silly this might sound. After all, everyone was safe and healthy and nothing was really lost. You weren’t that different from the night before when I’d tucked you in bed not knowing it would be the last time to do that common yet sacred act before baby girl joined us.

And yet that was the hardest part for me. Feeling like I’d lost something I didn’t know I would lose and that I could never get back. You as my baby. You as my little squishy one. You were the only one, and so however big you may have been (notably a stocky and heavy almost-two-year-old) you were still the smallest child of mine and you felt like my little baby.

Maybe its better that these things happen with a bit of a surprise. Maybe I was better off without the warning. I didn’t make any fanfare out of putting you to bed that night before she came. It was normal, not especially memorable, and maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. It was just us, not something we tried to make into something. It was just the reading, hugging, lights out, kisses routine that we’d settled into in your almost-21-months of life.

And again, little puddles fill the rims of my eyes daring to spill down my cheeks, as I think that maybe life will always be like this. Maybe you’ll always surprise me as you slowly yet suddenly move from one stage to the next without warning. I suppose every Momma knows the feeling. You change right before our eyes so subtly, little by little every day, and then a day comes when it feels like something changed overnight. You say a new word, you show affection in a new way, you express an opinion with more passion, you kick a ball with new skill, you like a new food or don’t like an old one, you recite part of the book we’re reading, and the list goes on.

But you know, Foxy boy, for whatever it feels may be lost as we move ever so naturally from one stage to the next, there is so much more gained. For the real treasure, my boy, is YOU. It’s always been you. Whatever phase, mood, age, season you’re in, the fact that it’s you is what matters. The fact that its those same clear blue eyes I’ve always stared in reminds me of what won’t ever change. You’ll always be you, and to quote Taylor Swift “you’re the only one of you, baby that’s the fun of you.”

And if this is a letter to you, then I’ll end it the way I feel I always end your notes and that treasured bedtime routine. “I love you.”

YOU. My boy, my baby, my son. I love YOU.

A Bunny Themed Baby Shower

One of my favorite parts of hosting a party is developing the theme. I love thinking about components such as who we’re celebrating, what the occasion is, what time of year it is, and what would make it memorable to help me decide the right direction to take. I usually toss around a few ideas until the right one just sticks. And when that happens, it’s one of my favorite moments because then I can start fine-tuning the vision and bringing it to life!

When it came to planning Katherine’s Baby Shower with my friend Rachel, we knew we wanted to really get the details right. Katherine is someone who appreciates sweet touches, beauty, and design, so we knew putting our energy into these areas would mean a lot to her.

As Katherine was designing her nursery, bunnies emerged as a subtle theme. It wasn’t over-the-top or even that intentional, I don’t think. She was just drawn to a few bunny elements and it started to develop from there. So, this is where we ended up landing for the shower theme, and I just love it!

As with any theme, we wanted to steer clear from a cheesy or overdone approach. We wanted it to feel classic and “baby” as well as special and attractive. Also, Katherine was planning to incorporate a surprise gender reveal at the shower so we couldn’t be too gender specific in our decor. But, I do feel like there is always a little room to have feminine touches at a baby shower because after all, the Momma is a girl!

The sweet little bunnies, greenery, and linens made for a perfectly charming and meaningful day. I’ll share a few details as we go, too, in case you want to replicate anything you see! Enjoy!

Photos by Mary Margaret Smith

We found these adorable little bunnies at Michael’s, and they were a subtle surprise in our flower arrangements.

Rachel found inspiration for the greenery bunny online, and we used floral wire wrapped in paper, floral tape, and fresh greenery from Trader Joe’s to create our own! Then, we accented it by using floral hoops in different sizes with ribbons hot glued and greenery wrapped with floral tape. It was whimsical and sweet.

Y’all. This cake! I can’t even. I loved it so much! It was delicious for one, but also so perfectly lovely I could squeal. Our favorite local baker, Bec’s Cakes, created this wonder and took the bunny ears we made to finish it off! We saw the idea online and shaped these bunny ears out of the same paper-wrapped floral wire we used for the large greenery bunny.

The bunny cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches were as tasty as they are cute! A perfect touch for our mid-afternoon celebration.

Katherine loves to read, so when we found this antique bunny made to rest on books, we knew we had to get it for her. It doubled as shower decor and a gift, which is always fun!

Sweet Katherine. This image just gets me. We were all so excited to celebrate her and Baby Stone, and to see the look on her face when she walked into her shower was the best. There’s nothing like putting your heart into a celebration for someone and them receiving all the love you hoped they would through every detail.

surprise gender reveal

Katherine and Scottie had been keeping the gender of their baby a secret for her whole pregnancy. Then came the idea to reveal it at her baby shower. I love gender reveals and baby showers so this was so exciting to me! We gathered everyone outside for a group photo. After the photographer took a couple “test shots” she said, “Alright on the count of three everybody say…” and at that moment Katherine yelled out,

“IT’S A GIRL!!!”

You can see the delight and surprise on everyone’s faces as they heard this exciting news! It was such a special moment and such a special shower for such a special friend.

A Bunny Themed Baby Shower

mattyewoodcock.com

15 Minute Family Beach Photo Session

One of my focuses for the year is to embrace my role as our Family Storyteller. I have informally occupied this role for a while now, but making it my official title (given to me by myself!) reminds me of the importance and value this job holds.

One of the ways I love telling the story of our family is through photos. It’s something Woody and I have valued spending time and money on since we were engaged. We’ve done big shoots, small shoots, planned-out shoots, and spur-the-moment shoots. We’ve worked with photographers we’ve hired and photographers who are friends (let’s be real, they all end up being our friends!). No matter how we’ve done it, I’m always glad we did.

Despite what you might think (and what I often think), you don’t have to plan perfectly to get photos you love.

Today I’m sharing one of my favorite family shoots we’ve had. It happened this summer at the beach. We were there with two other couples, including one of my best friends, Rachel, who is a very talented photographer. Obviously already being with a photographer was super helpful, but even so, all the rest came together with little to no planning. So, hire yourself a photographer and don’t overthink the rest!

We decided that day we’d all do photos. I didn’t know what we’d all wear until that day, and I did my own hair and makeup (as I usually do any time we get photos taken). Fox was 18 months old, cute as can be, but not 100% cooperative. I was 30 weeks pregnant with Mae and easily winded walking in the sand. We didn’t plan poses, pin inspiration, or find the perfect location. We simply got cleaned up, walked down to the beach access closest to our rental house, and spent 15 minutes laughing with our toes in the sand.

But what a precious story these photos tell. They remind us of the changing season as we were preparing to add another little life to our crew. They celebrate chubby baby legs, summer heat, and sun-kissed skin. They tell our story as young parents, a couple in love, and Fox’s first beach vacation. This little moment in time is one worth preserving. And I know I’m biased, but the result is pretty near perfect to me.

He did not want to let go of my hand…

…as you can see.

Photos by Rachel Coffey Photography

How do you preserve your family’s story? What matters most to you? Do you have any favorite photo shoot experiences? I’d love to hear!

Newborn + Postpartum Faves

The birth of Mae began my second adventure into “newborn life,” and I’m learning so much. I knew it was true, but there is nothing like having two babies of your own to prove to you that every baby is different!

Mae is her own person, and being a little more relaxed this time around is allowing me to enjoy learning her and figuring out what she needs with more ease and confidence than I had as a brand new mom. Part of this process has included identifying some key items that have become “must-haves” for us, and when I find something I love, I gotta share it. There are SO many items out there for Moms and babies, and sometimes it’s helpful to have a friend help you wade through the masses to pick out a few treasures.

This is not intended to be a comprehensive list of ALL the things you need in newborn/postpartum life (although here’s a little tip—what you actually need is most likely less than what you think you need); I simply want to highlight the items that are either new favorites or have become trusty go-to’s with both babies for us. I’ll say it again, every baby is different, so you have to figure out what works for you, but my hope is that each Momma will be able to find at least one gem from this list!

newborn

Vava Nightlight

I think I will get this nightlight as a baby shower gift for people from now until forever. This thing is amazing! It’s chargeable (and the charge lasts for days/weeks depending how often you use it), portable, and touch-activated making it incredibly convenient. It has two different light temperatures and is dimmable, too. It’s wonderful for late-night feedings and diaper changes when you might not want to make a lot of noise or have a lot of light. It’s also great to travel with if you’re unsure what kind of lighting situation you’ll have.

baby lounger

We have loved the Boppy Newborn Lounger with both babies. It’s lightweight and has a handle so it’s easy to take from room to room or on a trip. It’s a cozy spot for baby with a slight incline so their head is lifted and they can see what’s going on around them. Mae sits in it happily while I’m getting ready, cooking, pumping, you name it! Because it’s so easy to put anywhere, it allows me to be close to her when I’m not able to hold her, and that’s something we both love. I really can’t imagine newborn life without it.

I also wanted to give an honorable mention to the Dock a Tot. We’ve used it with Mae, and so far it’s been great. It’s a pricier item, so we were thankful when a friend offered to loan us theirs. It’s lightweight and easy to transport just like the Boppy lounger, and it’s nice when you need a portable, convenient sleeping spot or to let the baby lay flat and kick around. I don’t think I would pay full price for one, but since we got to borrow this one, I am glad we have it.

covered goods four-in-one cover

This four-in-one cover is one of my favorite items. Both my babies were born in cold weather months, and this is wonderful to put over their car seat to protect them from the cold air and germs. I imagine I would use it in the summer too because it would block out light and any hands that want to reach in to touch baby. Also, it’s a lightweight nursing cover that I take everywhere. It took me a while to get used to using it with Fox, but with Mae it’s been so helpful. Someone actually referred to it as my “magic striped blanket” because every time I pull it out she gets calm (a.k.a. she gets to eat)!

burt’s bees burp cloths

These burp cloths are so soft and ideal in size. With Fox, I had all different kinds of burp cloths, and I ended up only wanting to use my favorites. This time, I have 12 of the Burt’s Bees and I never have to question if I’m getting a “good one” or not. It removes any decision making and keeps me well stocked with burp cloths (a MUST in those early months!).

my brest friend nursing pillow

As cheesy as the name may be, this has truly been a good friend for me with both my babies! I like this nursing pillow because the firmness of the pillow gives me and my baby quality support, the buckle helps it stay in place, and its soft. The pad around the back is so comfortable, and especially as my babies have gone from newborn to bigger babies, the My Brest Friend gives me much needed relief for my back, shoulders, and neck during nursing.

solly baby wrap

There are many baby wraps out there, and I’ve heard positive reviews of many of them, but the Solly Baby Wrap has been the winner in our home. I wasn’t very confident using it with Fox so I only used it a handful of times, but I’ve already used it dozens of times with Mae. It calms her down when she is fussy, and she takes a nap in it almost every day. It’s also really helpful as a mom of two because it gives me free hands to love on and care for my toddler while also keeping Mae content and getting little newborn snuggles. I love getting to be near my girl while having the option to have my hands free.

Sleepers with hand covers

Newborns tend to have fast-growing, sharp fingernails that are hard to cut, and these sleepers make protecting them and you so easy! I especially love using these at night when she might scratch her face the most, and they’re also nice when nursing so she doesn’t poke me with those sharp little nails.

zutano baby shoes

After two months of tiny little socks falling off Mae’s feet constantly, I finally bought these Zutano booties with an Amazon gift card we were given, and they’re fabulous! They stay on her feet so well and keep them warm. I got the fuzzy style for her first pair since it’s winter, and I plan to get the cotton ones for spring/summer.

Spectra Pump

A friend recommended this pump, and I was very intrigued because she said it helped her express more milk and was quieter than other pumps. I still had my pump from Fox, and figured if I wanted this new one, I’d have to buy it or receive it as a gift. Then, a friend who saw it on my baby registry told me she got the same one and it was covered by insurance. After looking into it, I was so delighted to see that my insurance covered it, too. With her recommendation, I ordered it through Aeroflow, and it was a pleasant, streamlined experience. I love this pump for many reasons: it has a massage mode and expression mode to help simulate how your baby eats, a handle for easy transport, a timer to see how long you’ve been pumping, a nightlight, and two options for adjusting the frequency and intensity with which it expresses the milk. Also, it doesn’t hurt that it comes in pretty colors.

postpartum

gilligan & o’malley nursing bras

In my second season of nursing, I have been much more savvy with my nursing bra situation. I have lightweight bras to wear at nighttime and more structured bras with better coverage for daytime. But, my favorite one by far is this one by Gilligan & O’Malley of Target. It is comfortable enough to sleep in, but also has enough coverage and structure to wear with clothes (and I think the color is pretty!). It appears they have limited quantities remaining, but I’d recommend this brand overall for comfort and price point.

Witch hazel

A friend and fellow Momma who happens to be a nurse gave this Witch Hazel to me at my baby shower for Fox, and it’s been a staple for me both pregnancies and postpartum. Its very helpful for postpartum healing (specifically for a vaginal birth), and it’s an overall great way to clean and soothe sensitive areas. I have used both the bottle and these pads (which are the same ones they gave me in the hospital).

rainbow light prenatal vitamins

These are an obvious item on a pregnant and postpartum woman’s list, but I just love this brand so much I wanted to share. I have used them in both my pregnancies and postpartum, and they’ve worked well for me.

no bake lactation bites

I think I ate my weight in these lactation bites after I had Fox, and I’ve loved them with Mae, too. They taste delicious, have ingredients to help with milk production, and are great snacks when you’re starving but don’t have time to eat much or its the middle of the night and you need something small and quick.

gap-fit maternity leggings

Postpartum clothing could be a post in and of itself, and honestly, its so subjective. It depends on how your body changes, if you go back to work or stay home, what climate you live in, what time of year your baby is born, and plenty of other factors! But for me after having Mae, these Gap leggings have been my uniform. I like them because the fabric is comfortable and breathable and nice enough to wear out and about. The maternity panel isn’t too big so it provides good coverage and support postpartum without falling down. I ended up getting two pair, and I’m so glad I did because I haven’t managed to get back in my regular laundry routine just yet. ;)

So, there’s my list! I imagine it will be ever evolving, but I hope it’s helpful. I’d also love to hear any favorites you have that I should try!

Affiliate links are used in this post!

Welcome Mae Elizabeth Woodcock

Three days past her due date, we were filled with joy and excitement to welcome our daughter, Mae Elizabeth Woodcock, on October 30.

Fox came early, so reaching and surpassing my due date and knowing the “baby could come any day” was new territory for me. Everyone kept asking if I was so ready for her to come, and honestly, I was patient. I was excited to meet her for sure and ready to have some of my pregnancy discomforts subside, but I knew she was coming soon, and I felt patient for the right timing. Honestly, I was mostly concerned about what her actual birth day would be. Expecting an October baby for months, I was hoping she would be born in October, but not on Halloween. I had a feeling she would be born in the 20’s (and actually had guessed the 26th), but she came just out of the 20’s and just before Halloween, with a perfectly round numbered 10/30 birth date. It was perfect.

With my Dad hanging with Fox, Woody and I went to what would be my final pre-baby appointment at 40 weeks, 2 days, on Monday, October 29. I was 3 cm dilated, and we made a plan for me to come in for a stress test November 1 if she hadn’t made her appearance yet. In addition to Halloween, I was also hoping she wouldn’t be born on our anniversary (November 3), but both were certainly possibilities at this point. I went to sleep that night and woke up at 3:55am, repositioned in bed, pulled my knees up to get cozy, and there came the gush. About three to four gushes to be exact. I turned on the light and sat up, went to the bathroom, and confirmed that my water had broken.

With the breaking of my water, my adrenaline quickly kicked into gear. I felt excited and energized that this moment we had waited for was here! I woke Woody up in the process, and after we talked about what was happening, he asked if he could go back to bed. Ha! I think he was remembering the lengthy labor process with Fox (about 30 hours total) so it was an understandable question. With Fox, we had both slept after my water partially broke in the middle of the night, but this time my body was moving along much faster. I could already tell a slow morning to labor at home was not in the cards, and going back to sleep certainly wasn’t for either of us.

Contractions picked up quickly, already averaging about five minutes apart by 4:30am. My excitement turned to focus as labor was intensifying and I was trying to breath through it. I told Woody to go ahead and call my Dad so he could be at the house with Fox. Then he called the doctor on call who told us to head to labor and delivery. My plan had been to labor at home as long as possible, but as my labor quickly progressed and I got more uncomfortable, I was ready to be settled wherever I was going to be to give birth to our girl.

It felt like it took forever to gather my few remaining hospital items between contractions. It was hard to focus on anything but labor, and I kept having to stop to breathe through a contraction. My Dad arrived at some point in this process, and at 6am, we left for the hospital.

My Dad wanted to take our photo as we left for the hospital because he knows me well and knew I’d want it later. I was smiling here, but I remember at the time this was the last thing I wanted to do! I was just focused on what was happening in my body.

Upon arrival, they sent me to the OB Emergency Department to examine me and confirm that I was in labor (a fact I very easily could’ve confirmed for them, but I know, I know, it’s part of the process). Once the doctor checked, it was confirmed that my water had definitely broken and I was 6 cm dilated. Yay! Finally my nurse, Amber, came to get me and take us to our room where I would labor and deliver sweet Mae.

As I had with Fox, my hope was to have a “natural birth” (no epidural) with Mae as long as my body and my baby would cooperate. Having done it before wasn’t as comforting as I thought it would be, and instead I felt intimidated and unsure. It was hard to focus on getting through the moment because I was thinking about what was to come and fear crept in. Also, with this labor moving more quickly, it got intense faster, which was a new experience. There were times I looked at Amber and Woody and said, “I can’t do this,” but they were so supportive and encouraging to help me push through.

I also took advantage of some medicine they offered to help dull some of the pain. I could still feel it all, but kind of like laughing gas at the dentist, it helped calm me and ease me through the contractions. It only lasts about an hour and half, but it provided some very welcome relief.

I’ve learned that when I am in labor, I do not like to move around. I like to get in one position and stay there. I was most comfortable with my legs stretched out and my back leaned against the elevated bed. There were times I tried to stand or walk, but that it made it more painful. I even labored on the heated toilet seat, but overall couldn’t stay there long. One time they rolled my bed over to the bathroom so I wouldn’t have to walk across the room, and that was wonderful.

The hospital had a doula on staff, and she came to help with my labor, too, and I was so grateful for her experience and guidance. She suggested different positions and breathing that I did my best to try, but I just wanted to sit in my same position. With the sitting position I preferred, she helped me tilt my hips to better open up the path for Mae to come, and I feel like it made a difference.

The contractions started to really be one on top of the other with little to no break in between. I can remember the nurses and doctor trying to ask me things or talk to me, but it was difficult to do anything but focus with eyes closed as I breathed through each wave, the intensity signaling that my baby was coming soon. I finally got enough of a break for my doctor to check my dilation, and she said “I can’t feel any cervix at all, she is fully at a 10.” I was glad, but the pushing was one of the hardest parts for me with Fox, so I knew there was still some work ahead of me to get baby girl here.

I did not want to deliver on my back if possible because that position was challenging for me when I delivered Fox. The process of turning from my back though was one of the hardest parts of labor. Being on my side was excruciating and I just kept crying “Help me” to everyone in the room. I could feel the pressure of her coming and it was the most desperate I felt throughout the entire process.

I finally gathered my strength and hoisted myself up on my knees, gripping the sides of the hospital bed. From here, I pushed as my team encouraged me. I remember thinking surely her head was almost out, but they said to keep going because they could see a little of her head. I think I audibly asked, “Just a little?!?”

At this point, I was very vocal as I used all my strength to push. They were having trouble getting the monitor to read her heartbeat because she was so low in the birth canal. At one point I knew it was getting serious and time sensitive when they put an oxygen mask on me and said that if she didn’t come soon, we were going to have to try another way because her heart rate was dropping (which was due to her umbilical chord being wrapped around her neck, which they saw once she arrived). My sweet doctor even asked if I could turn over and I remember emphatically saying, “NO!” (Those are the things that after the intensity of labor is over you think, “Oh my, did I really talk to my doctor like that?!”)

Knowing this was my final chance to get my little girl here without medical intervention, I dug as deep inside as I possibly could, mustered every bit of will and physical strength and pushed a few more times and delivered Mae. I so clearly remember the mix of pain and relief as I felt the smooth, but stretching sensation of her head coming out and then the wobbly feeling of her shoulders and body to follow. It was a miracle, and she and I had worked together to do this. She was here!

It was a delicate turn to get me from my knees to my back since the umbilical chord was still attached, but we did it, and within seconds, I laid my eyes on my daughter for the first time. The first thing I thought was, “you’re so beautiful!” She was feminine in her features and sounds, and meeting her is still one of the most awe-inspiring things I’ve ever experienced.

I feel like I want to give a speech like an award winner and thank all the people that helped me. But first, I want to honor and thank Woody. He was incredible throughout the entire labor and delivery. I know that what I did was hard, but I think his job is hard too. He stayed by my side, helped communicate on my behalf, and kindly coached me as I labored. He felt so close to me, and him by my side is one of my most vivid memories from that day.

I also am so grateful for my nurse, Amber, the doula, and my doctor as well. I know they experience babies being born all the time, but as a Momma, there is something about the people who help you bring your child into the world that makes them extra special people in your life and memory forever. From the beginning, it truly does take a village.

Brother and sister meet for the first time

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! And, if you’re an expecting mom, let me just encourage you—you can do it. Birthing a baby is both one of the hardest and most cherished things I’ve ever done and probably ever will do. There are so many ways to safely bring a baby into the world, and as you read other people’s stories, remember to make your choices based on what matters to you and what is best for your family. There is no prize for delivering a baby this way or that, and every story—every mom, every baby, every pregnancy, every birth—is unique. You can read more about how I made decisions for birth in this post, but most of all, do what is right for you and your baby. As always, I’m cheering you on!

Do you have a birth story you’ve shared somewhere? If so, I’d love to read it, so share in the comments!

Photos by Rachel Coffey

Dear Momma,

I recently saw a pregnant Momma ask on Instagram for advice as she becomes a first-time Mom, and as I went to write her a response, I realized I had a lot on my heart to share. I’ve been thinking about the transition of welcoming a new baby myself as we’re about to have our second little one, and in the midst of that I’ve felt an almost gravitational pull toward new Mommas. It’s not because I think I’m an expert or have some magic secret to share, but it’s because my heart is so tender toward this season of a woman’s life. I want to give the Moms I see a hug, invite them to take a deep breath, look them in the eye, tell them what an incredible job they’re doing, and encourage them to let go of all the pressure they’re putting on themselves.

I expect that much of this comes from the fact that it’s what I needed more than I ever realized in my first months of motherhood. I’ve learned so much since Fox was born, and I can only imagine all there is yet to learn.

Let me paint a little picture of myself for some context.

I’m a creative, an idealist, and a hopeful romantic. I love when this all comes together for dreaming big dreams, making things special, and loving people well. I don’t love it when this all comes together in the form of unrealistic expectations, pressure to be perfect, and focus on things that aren’t what matter most.

As you might imagine, with these qualities, approaching the birth of my first child I was really feeling the pressure (from myself) to live up to this grand life experience. I felt like I needed to know all the things, do all the things, and prepare all the things so I could be the perfect Mom for my perfect baby.

Perhaps this true story paints the picture even a little more clearly: on February 1, 2017, when I was most definitely in labor, but in total denial (my due date was February 21), I sat with two of my closest friends (who were far more aware of how close I was to giving birth than I was), and I just kept saying “but I haven’t finished reading BabyWise!”

Like. that. matters. Lord, help me.

Half of you may be thinking, “oh friend, that’s not healthy,” while the other half may be thinking, “yes! I get you—this is me!”

In my attempt to control everything to be “just so” I came undone. This is why my heart is so tender, and part of why I’ve felt such a conviction to speak life and truth to other women in this season.

After feeling all of this for months, reading that gal’s Instagram post finally pushed me over the edge to sit down and type out what is on my heart to say to you (to us), sweet Mommas.

Dear Momma,

Take a deep breath.
It’s true, you’re not in control,
But someone is—remember God’s got this.
He goes before you, and He has created you to do this.

He chose you to be this baby’s Momma.
This baby.
This baby whom He loves more than you ever could (which will seem incomprehensible most of the time), and He has entrusted His little loved one to you, for a purpose.
You will doubt that at times, but it won’t make it any less true.

The world is full of information, directions, and formulas.
Don’t let all the rules and opinions rob you of enjoying your child and of being the Momma you’re called to be.
Your heart can tell you how to calm their cry better than any book.
Your prayers can be tailored to them better than any sleep schedule.
And you will be loving them longer than any parenting method’s popularity lasts.

You’re learning to be a parent just as they are learning to be a baby.
You won’t do it perfectly, and that’s part of the beauty.
Loving and learning require great doses of grace,
And great doses of grace are good for us.

You’re a good Momma.
You are.
Allow yourself heaps of grace, extra long snuggles, and tears when they come.
Cherish the moments for they only last a season.
The changing seasons aren’t something to fear; they’re something to embrace.
The growing, changing, and loving becomes more rewarding with time.

Sit back and receive the gift of your little one.
Take another deep breath.
You’ve got this because God’s got you.
I’m cheering you on, Momma.

Photos by Mary Margaret Smith Photography

Our Babymoon to Laurel

My mom and her friends often laugh at some of the modern traditions of having a baby: things like gender reveals, push presents, and babymoons. This type of fanfare just wasn't part of pregnancy for them like it has become for us. Of course, neither was straying away from deli meat or chicken salad, things that grace the no-no list for pregnancy today. 

Although I just came back from my second babymoon, I sometimes feel cliche or cheesy talking about it. But, I find the heart of it to be wise and wonderful. No matter what our life circumstance, it's important for Woody and I to consistently invest in our marriage, and in the weeks before welcoming a new member to the family, I find it especially valuable to take some intentional time away together. So, babymoon, it is!

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32 weeks with Baby girl!

Before Fox was born, we combined our babymoon with our anniversary trip, and we traveled to Fairhope, AL, to stay at The Grand. With Baby Girl, we also wanted to have a babymoon, and decided to do something low key and close. It was important to stay budget-friendly, and we didn't take as much time away as before since we have Fox and needed to figure time away from him and childcare into the equation.

This narrowed us down to the Southeast, and there are several places that are old favorites, but we wanted to try something new. We ended up choosing Laurel, MS, a decision which left many people asking, "what's in Laurel?"

We're longtime fans of HGTV's Fixer Upper (which inspired us to buy our own fixer upper), and when it went off the air, we decided to take a chance on the new HGTV show, Home Town based in Laurel, MS. We don't watch much TV, and Fixer Upper felt like big shoes to fill, so we didn't immediately fall in love with Home Town. We kept watching though, and it quickly became a favorite of ours. 

We love the hardworking attitude and authenticity of the show's couple, Erin and Ben Napier. As old home owners ourselves, we also enjoy seeing historic homes come back to life. Both of us having lived much of our childhoods in small towns, there was something about the homegrown, Southern community of Laurel that took us back to our roots. On top of that, we caught up on most of Season Two of Home Town during this pregnancy, so making a trip to Laurel in person felt like a real treat.

We picked Labor Day weekend, and fortunately, most things in Laurel had regular hours that weekend. If it continues in a similar direction as Waco, TX, after the years of Fixer Upper filming there, it won't be long before Laurel becomes busier and more booming. While it's been a charming town for a long time, I really loved the idea of getting to visit while it's still in the smaller stages of growth and notoriety that can come once there is a TV show about your town.

We had a great stay, and we already can't wait to return! Part of the beauty of visiting a new place is finding your own way and creating adventure, but I love having some solid recommendations, too, so here's a glimpse of our trip to Laurel:

We took this selfie right as we arrived. We were so excited to finally be on our babymoon! Our first stop was the Laurel Mercantile, and they had this adorable guide to Laurel from Erin and Ben of Home Town. I had already researched places we wanted to go, but this guide added to our list and confirmed some we already had in our plans.

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Accomodations

We booked the Sweet Somethings Bed & Breakfast through Airbnb. The space looked just the right size for us, was at a great price point, and was nestled into the heart of downtown making it a convenient and enjoyable way to experience Laurel.

Upon arrival, we ended up meeting Joseph, the owner of Sweet Somethings, and he was so kind! He gave us our keys, showed us to our room, told us about the property, and let us tour some other rooms at the B&B. He also helped with dinner recommendations. It was just the start of the Southern hospitality we would experience all weekend long.

We lived in a downtown loft our first three years of marriage, so this took us back! We loved it. It was spacious and comfortable. Also, included in our stay was breakfast from the bakery. All we had to do was walk downstairs where we were greeted with tasty smells and cinnamon rolls blanketed in icing.

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Eating, shopping, & SightSeeing

I reached 32 weeks pregnant with Baby Girl on this trip, and it was special having her tote along for all the fun.

We first saw Pearl’s Diner on the show, and as big fans of Southern cooking, we knew we had to make a stop. We ended up getting to ride out a quick afternoon rain shower as we feasted on some delicious fried chicken, the sweetest sweet tea, and more Southern hospitality.

We got several recommendations to visit Guild and Gentry, a men’s store downtown. Woody enjoyed shopping, and I enjoyed the “Ladies Lounge” pictured below. Taking a moment to rest my feet was just what I needed to refuel for the afternoon.

We also got to meet Caroline, the owner of the shop. We talked as if we were old friends, and she is also expecting a baby girl about a month after we are! She and her husband’s home was renovated on Home Town, so it was fun talking to her about that. She is investing back into the Laurel community as they grow their men’s store with a barber shop and humidor room, and she shared some of the town’s history with us. Woody also got a pair of pants while we were there, and they’re some of his new favorites.

We did eat things other than Southern food (I promise!), but another delicious stop for some Southern cooking was Estelle’s for Sunday lunch. We both got the buffet and filled our plates with classic Southern favorites and a few nostalgic childhood dishes like creamed corn and jello.

The new Scotsman General Store opened a week before we arrived, and it was a treat to go see it in its early days. We bought old, classic candy and sodas, and got to stand around and talk with some of the owners. Again, everyone was so friendly and easy to talk to. It’s not hard to see why the town of Laurel is growing and thriving with such kind people caring for and investing in it.

You can see into Ben’s wood shop from the General Store. I liked looking at the pieces in progress. He wasn’t building while we were there, but it was interesting to see the place where so much hard work and artistry happens.

Other spots that we loved, but I don’t have photos of include:

Lee’s Coffee and Tea: this was my favorite! I had a delicious sandwich, chocolate oatmeal no-bake cookie, and the perfect iced latte.
Mimmo’s: Garlic Knots. Enough said.
Boutique on Central: I found some adorable, unique pieces at a great price, and of course, the staff was as sweet as can be.
Southern Antiques: one of many home decor stops. I love designing rooms, and these home shops were like a playground!

We ended our stay with a sweet stroll around Laurel’s historic neighborhood. Walking neighborhoods is one of our favorite things to do, and it was nice spending the last little bit of our trip holding hands, avoiding puddles, and talking. We got to see several of the homes that we’ve seen renovated on the show, too. I really enjoyed getting a feel for the heart of the place that we’d previously only experienced on a screen. 

We highly recommend a trip to Laurel. It was simple and enjoyable. We ate well, rested well, and shopped well. We met great people and felt like we found a home away from home where we can return to enjoy so many of the things we love about small towns and Southern life.

I’m happy to answer any questions about our trip, and I also always love favorite destination recommendations from you! 

Why I chose a natural labor and delivery

When it comes up in conversation that I had an unmedicated birth with Fox, people usually respond in similar ways, "Wow, you're my hero. That's amazing." It's certainly a nice sentiment, but I usually respond with "That's very kind, but if there is one thing being pregnant and giving birth taught me, it's that there's no easy way to bring a baby into your family. Whether natural, epidural, c-section, or adoption, there are hard things about all of them."

Having a baby is a special and intimate experience, unique to each woman, child, and pregnancy, and while an unmedicated birth was a great path for our family, I don't consider "natural labor" to be the sainthood of childbirthing that its sometimes treated to be.

The truth is, while its valuable to be educated and have plans (or hopes) heading into giving birth, we simply cannot control it. I am so grateful that my body and my baby cooperated with a natural labor, but I know that's not always the case. 

It can be hard not to have hopes or expectations about how birth will go, but what I try to keep at the forefront of my mind is that I want a healthy mom and healthy baby most of all. Also, while there are some medical interventions that would not be my first choice, I'm so very glad I live in a time and place where those options are available and safe. 

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Before I continue, let me also say that nothing in this post is intended to offer medical advice. This is simply my thought process and my story. As always, you should definitely consult a medical professional for any of your birthing decisions. 

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My mom had both me and my sister without medication. When she had me, she said that the hospital wouldn't even give her the epidural until she was dilated 7.5 centimeters, and at that point she figured she might as well just go all the way. With my sister, she had a natural labor with a midwife and home birth. She says that if she had ever had another baby, she would've chosen a home birth again. My sister and I are 10 years apart, so I remember a lot about the beginning of her life, including my mom's birth plans.

Having always known my mom had natural labors, it was an option that stayed at the forefront of my mind. In the months and years leading up to getting pregnant, and certainly once I was pregnant, I really had to do some digging into my motivation for choosing a natural labor.

Was it to "fit into a club?" Reach a goal? Impress myself? Impress others? Do what I think was expected of me?

Deep down, I was scared that I couldn't do it, and that maybe I didn't want to. However, over time, and through research, I realized that a natural labor actually was the most appealing to me. If I could help it, I preferred not to undergo the surgery of a c-section, and the epidural didn't sound appealing to me either. I didn't like the idea of the needle in my back, not being able to feel what was happening, being numb after birth, or the possibility of it not taking at all or only partially working, all of which I only knew about from friend's experiences or what I learned in birthing class.  

Probably the thing that confirmed my decision the most was that I did not talk to a single person who'd had a natural birth who wouldn't choose to do it again. Having never given birth, I wasn't sure what to expect, but that caught my attention. On that note, I certainly had many friends sing the praises of the epidural so I wasn't completely closed off to that either (again, with no experience in giving birth, you can only think about it so much because you just don't know the full story!).

So, my plan going in was to go natural as long as I could, and if at any point I felt like we needed to get the epidural I could. Also, if I ended up needing Pitocin to help my labor progress, I was pretty certain I would elect to have the epidural because I've heard contractions on Pitocin are very intense with little break in between, adding another factor to going natural. And, with my main goal of healthy mom and healthy baby, I certainly would not deny a c-section if it were the best way to keep both me and my baby safe.

My labor was long, but healthy, and Fox never showed any signs of distress. Now that we know his personality (calm and content), that is not surprising at all. Unmedicated contractions and pushing were certainly intense, and I do remember asking Woody, "why did I say I didn't want the epidural?' and at one point telling my nurse that maybe I should just get it. Both of them, very in tune with my heart in the matter, were so supportive and encouraged me to keep going, and looking back, I'm glad I did. 

Fox had a healthy arrival, and once he was here, any pains or discomfort from my labor seemed to fade into the background. All of the sudden, what had felt so intense and all-consuming seemed like a small thing compared to the enormity of meeting our baby boy. 

As for our Baby Girl due this October, I'm hoping to have an unmedicated labor again. My heart is in the same place as before: healthy mom, healthy baby is top priority. I'll labor unmedicated as long as my body and baby cooperate, and from there, we will pray and make the decisions necessary to safely deliver our daughter into our arms.

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If you're pregnant reading this and considering your own birth options, I don't know that I feel qualified to offer advice, but I can share the things that help encourage and prepare me heading toward labor and delivery:

• Ask questions, gain knowledge: The more I know going into it, the more equipped I will be to ask the right questions and take the best steps for me and my baby.

• Don't compare myself to other women: My story is my story, and I know God has a plan for this baby and this birth. As much as I may be familiar with other people's stories, I don't know the whole picture, and making such important decisions out of comparison will not be helpful.

• Be empowered: I trust the doctors, and I also know that I am my best advocate. I don't have the knowledge or experience they do, but I can ask questions like "what would happen if we don't take that route?" or "can we wait to decide for 30 more minutes?" or "are there any other options that are safe to consider?"

• Be flexible: We just can't control all the aspects of childbirth. Being informed, empowered, and asking questions will help me, but at the end of the day, maintaining flexibility is so valuable in staying calm and focused on the priority of delivering my baby in a safe, healthy way for both of us.

I hope my story helps encourage you as you think through and prepare for labor and delivery. It truly is a beautiful thing and an amazing gift. God made our bodies to carry and deliver babies, and I believe there is nothing to be afraid of. As always, to the new mommas, longtime mommas, hopeful mommas, expectant mommas, and future mommas, I'm cheering you on!

All photos from the day Fox was born by Mary Margaret Smith

Amy's Summer Themed Baby Shower

I got to host a baby shower for Amy's first baby a few years ago, and it was such a delight to get to celebrate her again as she expects baby boy #2!

Her shower was planned for June, and we landed on a bright, fun, summer theme. We wanted the shower to feel appropriate for the baby boy on the way, yet still feminine for the momma-to-be! Seeing her happy face as she arrived was all I needed to know it was a success!

I got to co-host the shower with a dear friend of Amy's (and friend of mine!), Ashley. The three of us are all expecting this year, and we're loving getting to walk through pregnancy together. The three of us also share similar style, which made it easy and natural for Ashley and I to plan for Amy. Ashley also offered her beautiful home for the shower, and it was truly the perfect backdrop for this special event. I've jokingly told her I want to rent out her home for Fox's second birthday party! (let's be real, we all know I'm being totally serious. Keep scrolling and you'll see why!)

decor

Fruit and bright colors were our inspiration, and I loved incorporating fresh flowers with real fruit pieces in the decor. Ashley found this pineapple slicer and dicer which made is super easy to core the pineapples to use as vases and then of course serve the delicious fruit inside!

Just as she did for Fox's birthday, my sweet Momma made custom runners for this event with fabrics I selected. They added a beautiful pop of color, and we used the spare fabric to make fabric banners that I kinda fell in love with.

Amy is expecting her second boy, and she had shared this cute t-shirt with us, so we decided to use the phrase from the shirt, "Raising Boys," in the shower decor. It was a simple and meaningful way to personalize the decor for Amy.

food

I feel like in planning this event, I learned a valuable trade secret that I will use going forward for creating menus at parties. If you can make from scratch one to two items, it will add a real wow factor to the entire spread. As I shared in my party planning guidelines, you can't do it all and do it well, and its helpful to find things to outsource. For me, this is often food simply because I do not love to cook, and it's the thing that usually causes me the most overwhelm when party planning. So for Amy's shower, Ashley and I both made one homemade item, a breakfast casserole and mini pancakes respectively. The other items were store bought and tasted delicious, but it was the two homemade items that got the most compliments from guests at the shower. I feel like the quality of the homemade items elevated the entire spread, and my mouth is watering just thinking about it!

Another quick and easy decor tip is to select ribbon that coordinates with your theme and tie it around serving dishes. This is so simple, but the extra touch makes it feel more meaningful and intentional, which I just love!

It ended up being such a special day, and everyone seemed to have a great time. I love the beauty of flowers and good food and sweet details, but at the end of the day, when people come to an event and feel special, that is the best part of all. 

It was an honor to get to celebrate this sweet friend and hard-working Momma, and I can't wait to meet Baby Boy Helzer in just a few more weeks!

Sources

Photography //  Ashley Bowers 
Invitations // Minted
Flowers // Trader Joes (arranged by us)
Fabric for runners and banners // Hobby Lobby (yellow stripe, green leaf, floral) and WalMart
Lemon plates // Harris Teeter (similar)
Straws, Napkins, White plates, forks // WalMart
Ribbon // Hobby Lobby (green and yellow plaid and green pattern)
Summer Letter Banner // Amazon
Confetti Balloons // WalMart
OH BABY gold balloons // WalMart (I couldn't find the exact link, but I found them at my local WalMart for only $5!)